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Sound Relationship House Questionnaires

This is the full set of 12 Sound Relationship House questionnaires, 60 statements in all. Read each statement and place a check mark in the appropriate True or False box. Mary will let you know if she'd like you to complete this full set, or just one or two individual sections instead.

0 of 60 answered

Sound Relationship House Questionnaires

Self-reported responses, one part of a broader clinical evaluation. Full item-by-item responses follow below.

Love Maps

1. I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams.

True False

2. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.

True False

3. My partner is familiar with what are my current stresses.

True False

4. I can list my partner's major aspirations and hopes in life.

True False

5. I know my partner's major current worries.

True False

Fondness and Admiration System

6. My partner really respects me.

True False

7. I feel loved and cared for in this relationship.

True False

8. Romance is something our relationship definitely still has in it.

True False

9. When I come into a room, my partner is glad to see me.

True False

10. My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship.

True False

Turning Towards or Away

11. I really enjoy discussing things with my partner.

True False

12. We always have a lot to say to each other.

True False

13. We have a lot of fun together in our everyday lives.

True False

14. We really have a lot of interests in common.

True False

15. We like to do a lot of the same things.

True False

Negative Sentiment Override

Fill out this section thinking about your immediate past (last 2 to 4 weeks) or a recent discussion of an existing issue.

16. I felt innocent of blame for this problem.

True False

17. I felt unjustly accused.

True False

18. I felt personally attacked.

True False

19. I felt unjustly criticized.

True False

20. I wanted the negativity to just stop.

True False

Harsh Startup

The statements below describe what happens when you and your partner discuss your issues.

21. Arguments often seem to come out of nowhere.

True False

22. I seem to always get blamed for issues.

True False

23. My partner criticizes my personality.

True False

24. Our calm is suddenly shattered.

True False

25. I find my partner's negativity unnerving and unsettling.

True False

Accepting Influence

The statements below describe what happens when you and your partner discuss your issues.

26. I generally want my partner to feel influential in this relationship.

True False

27. I can listen to my partner, but only up to a point.

True False

28. My partner has a lot of basic common sense.

True False

29. I don't reject my partner's opinions out of hand.

True False

30. My partner is basically a great help as a problem solver.

True False

Repair Attempts

The statements below describe your attempts to resolve conflict together.

31. We are good at taking breaks when we need them.

True False

32. Even when arguing, we can maintain a sense of humor.

True False

33. We are pretty good listeners even when we have different positions on things.

True False

34. If things get heated, we can usually pull out of it and change things.

True False

35. My partner is good at soothing me when I get upset.

True False

Compromise

The statements below describe your attempts to resolve conflict together.

36. We are usually good at resolving our differences.

True False

37. We both believe in meeting each other halfway when we disagree.

True False

38. In discussing issues, we can usually find our common ground of agreement.

True False

39. Yielding power is not very difficult for me.

True False

40. Give and take in making decisions is not a problem in this relationship.

True False

Gridlock on Perpetual Issues

The statements below describe what happens when you and your partner discuss your issues.

41. We keep hurting each other whenever we discuss our core issues.

True False

42. My partner has a long list of basically unreasonable demands.

True False

43. I don't feel respected when we disagree.

True False

44. My partner often acts in a selfish manner.

True False

45. When we discuss our issues, my partner acts as if I am totally wrong and he or she is totally right.

True False

The Four Horsemen

The statements below describe what happens when you and your partner discuss your issues.

46. I have to defend myself because the charges against me are so unfair.

True False

47. I often feel unappreciated by my partner.

True False

48. My partner doesn't face issues responsibly and maturely.

True False

49. I am just not guilty of many of the things I get accused of.

True False

50. My partner has a lot of trouble being rational and logical.

True False

Flooding

51. Our discussions get too heated.

True False

52. I have a hard time calming down.

True False

53. One of us is going to say something we will regret.

True False

54. I think to myself, “Why can't we talk more logically?”

True False

55. My partner has a long list of unreasonable demands.

True False

Emotional Disengagement and Loneliness

56. I often find myself disappointed in this relationship.

True False

57. I will at times find myself quite lonely in this relationship.

True False

58. It is hard for my deepest feelings to get much attention in this relationship.

True False

59. There is not enough closeness between us.

True False

60. I have adapted to a lot in this relationship, and I am not so sure it's a good idea.

True False

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This assessment was not created by Mary Ibrahim Therapy. It is provided here under Mary's own professional license with The Gottman Institute for use with her current clients.